Sunday, 1 March 2015

Tattooed Mother Of 4; Why My Skin Doesn't Affect My Parenting

One thing I hate, as people who regularly read my blog have probably gathered by now, is seeing people, especially parents, being judgmental towards other parents. Sure, we all know there is people out there that maybe aren't doing the best job they could be with their children, I try to not judge anyone's personal situation, as it really isn't my business to do so.



Amongst judgement for parenting choices (which there is a lot of), people also judge you for the way you look as a parent-which is bizzare.
I think I look pretty normal, nothing too outrageous, just a few piercings and a few tattoos. I dress quite normal just jeans, t shirts and converse/docs, but people still stare. I suppose I don't fit your typical "mumsy" stereotype when it comes to appearance.

It's not even like tattoos and piercings are unheard of nowadays, and I wouldn't say mine are excessive anyway (I have toned it down a lot since becoming a parent) but people still stare, and turns out they're judging me. 
My children go to school in a nice village, and I know come September when it's a new term and there's a whole batch of new parents, I will be the one that catches everyone's eye, and they're not discreet about it either.
It's not just school, it's everywhere we go, if we take the kids shopping, me and josh call it "two head syndrome" and try not to let it bother us, but you can see it in people eyes, they're disgusted! 
Summer is equally as bad, when more skin is visible, and people are a lot less discreet about their gawping and it leads to the children asking why people are staring. They don't see our tattoos or stretched ears; Tommy attended his first tattoo convention at 10 months old, and on rainy days the kids spend time colouring in my unfinished pieces, so to them it's totally normal! 
It wasn't until speaking to someone I know that I found out just what people are thinking when they're staring. She said when she first met me she thought I was common, lower class, and just assumed I wouldn't be a good mother. She said she was glad now that she got to know me and can see I'm none of them things, but it still hurt(s) that people think I'm below them just because of my appearance, especially when it comes to my parenting. 
Don't get me wrong, there's probably a lot more reasons people stare, but I think the combination of 4 children and tattoos spells bad news to some people. 


Our skin doesn't affect our parenting, or our lives. We live in a nice village, in a nice house, and our children are well dressed, healthy and most of all happy. Having tattoos doesn't stop me reading them bedtime stories at night, having tattoos doesn't mean I don't kiss their poorlys when they hurt themselves, having tattoos doesn't mean I'm any less able to tickle them until they cry happy tears. I'm the same mother inside, regardless of whether I chose to collect artwork on my skin, or on paper. And the only people's judgement that matters towards me or my parenting, is my children's. 

It's sad that in this day and age, tattoos are still judged, and used as yet another thing to tick off on a long list of parenting failures. I try not to let narrow mindedness bother me, but I don't want it to one day bother my children.
Parents that judge others for anything, appearance, choices-they're setting a not-so-good example for their children. And while my children will never grow up to judge someone for having no tattoos, they may still have to deal with the prejudice attached to having tattooed parents, which breaks my heart, and all I can do is hope that things, and people change, and soon.


Lucy x

21 comments:

  1. I have two tattoos and get this a lot, especially from my husbands family. My mum has tattoos and when I was little she had the same. I adore this post and I wish people weren't so bloody judgemental. Fab post xxx

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  2. Good for you to not let it bother you. A few of my friends are heavily tattooed and have been made to feel awkward at baby groups - it's such a shame. #mummymonday
    Nicki ON THE CHANGINGMAT

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  3. That's a really great post. I think it's very easy to be judgemental, and I'm sure I have been in the past, but it is important to see past appearance or any differences, especially for our children. Keep doing what you're doing and hopefully your kids will be more open and accepting because of it.

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  4. I have tattoos and yes I agree I get looked at in the school playground. I don't understand why people are so quick to judge - its such a shame we have to look a certain way to look like we are good parents! silly really isn't it. #mummymonday

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  5. I think of all the things people should be worried about that affect our kids, tattoos is seriously not the problem.
    It's not even at the bottom of the list.
    Stopping by from #TiwnklyTuesday

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  6. So stupid people should judge you for the way you choose to be, I have three small ones myself, why oh why do people spend so much time judging others, we should all support eachother in being parents! Great post! #twinklytuesday

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  7. I don't know why anyone would think that someone isn't as good a parent because they have tattoo's or for looking any particular way. I wonder if some people aren't looking at you more than others because they are judging you, but because tattoo's can draw the eye and because they are interesting to look at. I hope someone wouldn't think that I was automatically judging them if I was looking at them because I wouldn't be. But such a shame that people have been judging you as a parent. Good for you for not letting it bother you too much x #twinklytuesday

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  8. There are unfortunately lots of judgemental people out there but you show them that they are wrong :)

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  9. I agree with you. I have a few tattoos but my mum has a full bodysuit and has tattoos from her lower neck down to the bottom of her feet. Whilst she might seem 'scary' to others, to me she is my mum. Growing up I had to get used to the judgmental looks and comments, until eventually I got to an age where I felt the need to defend my mum. Tattoos are a display of art on the skin, they do not change a persons ability to parent x x x x
    babysausages.blogspot.co.uk #mummymonday

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  10. I have tattoos and i know my child will never be bothered by it because it's what she has grown up with. I wouldn't let it bother you, each tattoo has a meaning to you, and that is whats important. It doesn't matter what you do this day in age, people are always going to have a opinion!
    Steph | www.raisingemily.net

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  11. Good for you pet! Judgemental people generally have confidence issues themselves — they pass off their own insecurities on to other people and try to make themselves feel better by putting others down. Just keep your head up and try and ignore them! x #twinklytuesday

    Caro | www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk

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  12. I think it's really sad that parents judge other parents, I've found that there can be 'cliques' at groups which is a shame because it puts of people who really need to be there! I'm glad you don't let it bother you too much :)
    Anna (heading over from the #TwinklyTuesday linky

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  13. Totally great with your brilliant post. I had similar reactions when my hair was pink, but I have also been judged for other things, like breastfeeding etc. I think it's awful when parents (or just people in general) judge parents. I wish it was easier to ignore, sometimes it's easy to brush off but on the bad days it's some more negativity you just don't need!

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  14. I adore this post, some people are so judgemental. People shouldn't judge you by the way you look, they should judge you by what they see. I've only just stumbled across your blog but already I can you're an amazing mum just by the way you talk about your kids x

    Gym Bunny Mummy | Bloglovin’ | Facebook

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  15. We've been talking about this at work this week - not tattoos but the amount of pressure mums put on each other to conform to a certain standard. I beat myself up for ages for not having a 'natural birth' because I felt that other mums would be looking down on me. I think a lot of people who judge are not confident in themselves hence why they judge others. Hopefully your children will grow up being tolerant, open minded and knowing not to judge others. You are obviously setting a good example to them.

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  16. Great post - I have two tattoos although most of the time you can't see them (only spring/summer when I get my foot out is one visible!). Of course people do judge but they truly shouldn't. It's not like they are uncommon, in fact I think it's more uncommon now to find someone who doesn't have them! Try not to let it get to you, you are obviously a fantastic mum and as long as you and the little ones know that, it's all that matters :) Thanks for linking up wiht #twinklytuesday

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  17. Great post! I have a tattoo that I hate but I got it for the wrong reasons which is an entirely different matter.... but people shouldn't judge! Ugh that irritates me. do people judge the mum who has a full face of make up and manicure and immaculate dressy clothes and perfectly blow dried hair and wonder how long that took her and who had the kids? I think not. (I personally look at people with clean clothes and wonder how they manage to keep them clean rather than anything else! ) so if someone doesn't look like you you shouldn't judge. You know no one until you've walked in their shoes and even then you probably only know a little bit!

    Now I have to go walk the streets in my pjs to move my car before I get a parking ticket, dragging my 2 year old in his pjs.... sure I'll get some looks then too!!

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  18. Great post and good for you for keeping your head up high just like you should. I have one tattoo but its not really visible but I would hate to think that people judged me because of it. I think like you said tattoos aren't really unheard of anymore so you should not be judged! Keep going your doing a fab job. Thanks so much for linking up hope to see you again tomorrow!! #MummyMonday xx

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  19. This is a brilliant post, as someone in a wheelchair I know what it's like to have people stop and stare at you but I can almost accept it for them not being used to wheelchair users but for someone having tattoos in this day and age is shocking. The fact that you've got an angel, butterfly or a burning devils head (just examples lol) on your body has no relevance to your parenting skills or for that matter your personality. Really good post I found you through #BrilliantBlogPosts and I'm really glad I did.

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  20. What are people so judgemental? Your body, your right to do what you want with it and no one's appearance affects who they are or their parenting. You both look amazing xx

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