Sunday, 31 January 2016

Mummy Guilt

Mummy guilt. We all feel it at some point. For one thing or another, whether that's because you hear other mums bragging about all of the wonderful places they went and the brilliant activities they did over half term, when you only actually got dressed twice the whole week and one of them times was because the kids needed to let off steam at soft play whilst you had a hot coffee, or if you find yourself wishing for bedtime (so you can crack open the wine) 10 minutes after getting in from school, or even something as little as taking some much needed time for yourself, it's guaranteed that most mums at some point have felt guilty.
It's so so easy to think you're not doing a good enough job, even when you have someone telling you otherwise, it's sometimes hard to believe them. 



But the thing is, all this is totally normal and all in the job description. It's normal to question your ability of something you feel so passionate about, and it's normal to get upset from time to time-because being a parent is one of the hardest, if not THE hardest job to do in the world. And none of us get it 100% right 100% of the time- I know I have many of these moments, and the times when, after the dust settles, I think "maybe I shouldn't have lost my cool when I stood on a piece of Lego that was innocently left where I could stand on it when I least expected it" or when I'm trying not to bang my head against the wall when I'm painfully watching the kids get dressed in slow motion when we have somewhere to be-I try to keep in mind that these moments do not define me as a mother, and as long as the happy times outweigh the struggles, I know I do my very best for my children and I know we will all come out the other side just fine.
We're all doing our best at this mum thing, and we're all occasionally losing our shit. It's easy to compare ourselves to other mums and wonder if we're good enough- especially now social media is almost an essential mummy-tool to keep us sane, it can also have the opposite effect and make us believe everyone else is doing such a good job and enjoying it all of the time, when in fact most of what you'll find on social media is the highlights-not the low lights. A photo of the child out having a blast at the farm. Not a photo of the kid having a bitch fit because he wanted to feed the brown goat not the spotty one. People don't share the meltdown the child had when his mother (who felt guilty at the time) lost it and told him he wasn't feeding any fucking goats, now get away from the goat pen, you've blown it. Because really, no one shares them bits out of fear of being judged, but they experience and feel the same things behind the scenes. All that matters is that our children are happy and healthy, then there can be no comparison to anyone else's style-because chances are, they're losing their shit too, they're just good at hiding it. 

L x

4 comments:

  1. Oh we have all felt that mom guilt and matter of fact four other blog posts this week have been about mom guilt and I feel it so much when I am shouty mommy and I tell myself I won't shout today I will be patient and understanding but it goes out the window about half way through a day with two hyper toddlers on my hands solo. I can relate. You are doing an amazing job mommy! Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round of #sharewithme

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  2. Great post but we all feel guilty so don't be hard on yourself thanks for linking to the Binkylinky

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  3. I feel like this so many times in the course of a week it's normal it's being a mum Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

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  4. I have so much mummy guilt and I think we all do. I feel guilty for not going out enough and then when we are hardly home I feel guilty too! #binkylinky xx

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